Top 5 reasons not to write today: the MetalMagic journey continues...

Here's a topic that I can write copiously about. Just plain ironic, is what it is. So, here are the top 5 resons why I'm not right now continuing on the sequel to my novel or on the new Sci-Fi book I'm planning. Or any other constructive enterprise. Hang on - I don't want to give you, the reader, the idea that I think this blog is a waste of my time (and, by extension, yours). Of course writing this is a valid exercise. I just wanted to explore the most used excuses of mine for not making better use of my free hours. Ahem...

5) "I'm tired." Yes, I know that's a lame one. Everyone is tired. But, hats off to those who can write part-time and do it regularly, while holding down another part-time or even full-time job. Add more kudos to people among this group who are parents - especially single parents - or caregivers in some form or other. I find it incredibly hard to come back home from a day of teaching, to eat supper, play with the kids (I have two), have a conversation with my wife, and then have the energy to sit in front of my computer and come up with something creative. So, lame as it is, that's number 5. I listed it first because it's probably the one most people use.

4) "But, 24 is on!" Okay, feel free to substitute your show of choice, although last season was a breath of fresh air, because some new elements came into play. But, I digress. Anyway, it always seems like I have just enough motivation to start writing when my favorite show airs. Granted, with parenthood and a continuing career as a teacher, I don't have a lot of #3 (you'll see) to spend on TV. Nonetheless, it's a solid excuse and remains my number 4.

3) "I don't have time." This one is often combined with number 5. Actually, they are pretty interchangeable. Try it and see. The next time someone asks you if you are up to doing something, alternatively switch #3 and #5. They won't notice. Even if you use it in the same conversation. Trust me.

So, why did I put this ahead of number 4, you might ask? Okay, then, I'll tell you. Number 4 is just a subset of number 3, so, I put the larger category lower in the ranking (meaning it carries more weight). Hey, it's my blog and I'll do what I want. Get going to number 2 already.

2) "Look, a distraction!" (pause) Now that you're back from whatever you were looking for, I'll explain a little about number 2. What's that, you say? Isn't TV just a distraction? How dare you insult Kiefer like that! Obviously, it's a passtime, since so many people do it. So, no, it can't be just a distraction. "Hah!" You say - if you call this category "just a distraction," then why isn't it listed further up your chart? I'll tell you what can go further up ... . (again, pause)

Ahem. So, where was I? Oh, yes, distractions. Well, I put it here at number 2 because ... just a second, there's something poking me from the bottom of my chair ... feels like a pin, or something ...

1) "No one will ever read it, anyway." If you are an author, self-published or not, you have thought this any number of times over the course of your career, and not, I would wager, just at the outset. As has been a theme with these posts from the beginning, I am trying to craft them to be helpful, or at least slightly amusing, to people who may be on the same path as I find myself now, or even just contemplating the seemingly impossible task of becoming a published writer. Have no doubt, this gnawing fear of being inadequate or inconsequential will likely be the biggest hurdle you now have to face. Just ask any author you may meet to show you their stack of rejection letters. If they aren't you-know-who, (see blog entry 1 of this series to puzzle out the identity) I can almost guarantee that the bundle rivals the thickness of your last steak.

Mmmm. Steak. Why does the number 2 now suddenly come to mind?